Check-in No. 4

The fourth and penultimate check-in. Check out the inventiveness of our prosthetic growers (condiments?!).

Adam P.	Alex A.	Allyson R.
Benjamin B.	Brian S. ("Seabass")	Conor K.
Dan M.	Danielle M.	Devin B.
Eric A.	Evin G.	Gabe S.
Jackie K.	Jared J.	Jen G.
Julia S.	Lucia G.	Kira W.
Matt K.	Matthew B.	Mike R.
Michael V.	Mike S.	Pedro de la T.
Peter D.	Rod A.	Sean C. (in Anchorage, Alaska!)
Steve S.	Susannah P.	William B.

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A Letter

Editor's Note: The following letter, concerning the Moustache-a-thon Check-in of the last week, shows how the benefits of a Moustache-a-thon are not confined to the raising of money!

To Whom It May Concern:

I’m writing this letter for the purposes of your publication, to express a wonderful thing that’s happened to me. One night this past week my life changed forever. The evening started as usual. I was minding myself, sorting a collection of nail-clippings and eyelashes in my lair, which is coincidentally in the cellar of a certain establishment meant for nightly celebration. All I know is what I’ve heard, that this place is for some reason called an ‘Asylum’, that it’s on a street called ‘18th North West’, and in a place called ‘Adams Morgan’. I’ve lived here ever since I was young and my parents went out one night for groceries and forgot to come back. When the new proprietors bought the place, I simply hid in a crawl space and have remained there for years of business hours.

Every night I hear the merry-makers stomping around above me. A few will start to trickle down and sit before a large, bearded fellow who pours them brownish waters with a certain film on top. After a while, more people arrive and food is brought to them. Always the mirth becomes inescapable and the people forget about their plates. I’m usually able to sneak a few scrumptious breads and fried meats, though it’s harder now given my size. Still, somehow I go unnoticed. That is, until one night this past week.

Amidst the clamor and dim lights, the cracking of smoothed stones on a nearby table (a popular sport), I was approached, while leaning towards a plate, by a young woman who exulted in my appearance. “Oh my gosh,” she exclaimed, (I can quote it verbatim) “your moustache is AMAZING.” I came to discover that the hair on my face, particularly that which sprouts from my upper lip, has a name and is considered quite stylish. I explained in as level a tone as I could that I’ve had this moustache for as long as I can remember and that no other hair has ever grown from my cheeks or neck. As a child my father even called it my ‘third eyebrow’.

Soon enough, this angelic sprite had me introduced to a plethora of others like me, who as well grew only moustaches. Some of the young women had even drawn pictures of moustaches and hung them beneath their noses! (It was a real carnival) We talked for hours on everything they knew, which was plentiful. They offered me waters, which I pretended I hadn’t tried before and so drank watching the way others consumed carefully and during breaks in conversation. I began to feel relaxed, as though I could present myself to any person in the world with the utmost poise. The more we talked, the more I wanted to know.

I came to find out that they were all apart of a noble troupe that travels the area promoting ‘literacy skills’ to pupils. I joked that they all resembled a sort of Johnny Appleseed, and in fact, they do have a name: the Capitol Letters Writing Center, or CLWC for short.

I also learned that their week had gone well and so they’d come to the establishment to celebrate. It being too crowded upstairs, they’d come down. For the month of March, they’d been trying (and still are) to gather contributions for their noble cause, and by this past Tuesday they’d raised over $4,000 (!!) from the good people of the area. One gentleman, a certain Mike Scolise, even earned a top prize for his efforts (a splendid mug printed with fine pictorials). As the night progressed, the young women of the group recited their poetry (through an amplifying cone for sake of noise) all in the humorous and rhythmic ‘limerick’ form. Each of the poets gave me tearful fits for sheer beauty. Except one.

A certain young woman decided to make her lines vulgar and topical, pure gossip. To my surprise, however, everyone squealed with delight as she mentioned their names alongside certain unmentionables. It is a strange world, indeed. Still, I’m beginning to enjoy it. I forgave this young woman. She even brought the remaining CLWC members, myself now included, tiny waters at the end of the night, so that we might praise the many kind hearts we’d known. This drink, I must say, injured my throat, though I thanked her all the same. By the time everyone was leaving, one last gentleman arrived. He called himself a ‘cow boy’, somehow relating this to the style of his moustache; I suspect, however, he was actually some form of beast. Usually I’d savor the chance to observe such a strange being, but suddenly I felt like doing something I hadn’t for a great while. I kindly thanked everyone for their kindness and company, said my goodbyes, and walked out into the night.

(Feel free to use this letter at your discretion. My only hope is that it will move a few of your readers in the way that I was moved.)

Sincerely,

Adam J Pellegrini, New & Loyal CLWC Member

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Check-in No. 3

The third check-in. How the moustaches have grown!

Adam P.	Alex A.	Allyson R.
Benjamin B.	Brian S. ("Seabass")	Conor K.
Dan M.	Danielle M.	Devin B.
Eric A.	Evin G.	Gabe S.
Jackie K.	Jared J.	Jen G.
Julia S.	Lucia G.	Kira W.
Matt K.	Matthew B.	Mike R.
Michael V.	Mike S.	Pedro de la T.
Peter D.	Rod A.	Sean C.
Steve S.	Susannah P.	William B.

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The State of Your Moustache

Take a peek at what farmer Mike S. sent his sponsors this week (which consequently upstaged all the rest of us).

Open publication - Free publishing - More moustache

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Dispatch from Tuesday's Check-In

HEARTFELT AND WHIRLWIND MONEY-RAISING IN ADAMS-MORGAN -- ASYLUM CHECK-IN FOSTERS COMPETITION -- WINNERS DECLARED -- VERTIGINOUS CELEBRATION AND DIZZY REVELRY

From an Occasional Correspondent.

WASHINGTON, DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA, Tuesday, March 10, 1868 2009.

As is now widely known throughout the vicinage,--thanks, in part, to a sympathetic Article in the Washington Post tabloid,--the esteemed volunteers of the Capitol Letters Writing Center are thickening their Moustaches throughout the Month of March with the intension to appreciate donations and philanthropic allowance for the furthering of their institution of learning and benevolent instruction. In fulfillment of those designs, the Volunteers of this organization have been engaging in weekly frivolity and tomfoolery at the Pub called Asylum, the purpose of such merrymaking being the determination of the Champion fund-Raiser for the week and the dissemination of prizes and cheer.

Amid all the conviviality an unequaled Raiser of Monies was announced:--William Bert, was the winner of the night. His undertakings to bolster the organization were richly rewarded, when, about mid-way through the evening’s diversion, he was awarded a Gift donated from Home Rule, a local provisioner of Housing-wares. The Writing Center taken as a whole has earned a decidedly impressive amount in a mere ten days;--more than $3,000, and nigh on $3,500!

In celebration of the soon-to-be ample Moustaches of the Volunteers, the jolly bar-Tender, Shane Murphy, concocted a transfixing beverage called the “Moustache Ride.” The approximate recipe is available upon Request.

This signature libation was widely enjoyed, although Volunteers were also tempted by a befuddlement of ales, spirits, and victuals.

Adding to the dizzying jocularity of the evening, Volunteers were encouraged to participate in a diversion referred to as “pin the Moustache on the Tutor.” This lark required Volunteers to be blindfolded and spun in place to induce dizziness;--a number of Volunteers gamely agreed to this foible and one Volunteer did well enough to win a refreshment of his choosing from the bar.

A.R.

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Farmers Cash In, Get Famous

Congratulations to all that have supported our follicle folly, we broke the $3,500 mark today. You can also catch us with us here at the Post.

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Check-in #2

Our follicle farmers with 10 days of growth. UPDATE: Welcome to our newest farmers, Lucia G., Brian S., and Mike R.

Adam "Razor Burn" P.	Alex A.	Allyson R.
Benjamin B.	Brian S.	Conor K.
Dan M.	Danielle M.	Devin B.
Eric A.	Evin G.	Gabe S.
Jackie K.	Jared J.	Jen G.
Julia S.	Lucia G.	Kira W.
Matt K.	Matthew B.	Mike R.
Michael V.	Mike S.	Pedro de la T.
Peter D.	Sean C.	Steve S.
Susannah P.	William B.

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Prosthetic Challenge #2: March 10 – March 17

Create and perform (at next week’s check-in) an original moustache-inspired limerick. Rules:

1. Must follow standard limerick structure (in case your sixth grade poetry class is too much of a distant memory, limerick p’s and q’s may be found here: http://www.poetryamerica.com/Limerick.asp)
2. Must at least make mention/use/play on the moustache theme
3. Limericks about other participants are encouraged
4. Limericks will be judged on wit, general bawdiness and audience appreciation

Example!

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Check-in No. 1

Our follicle farmers after three days of growth.

Adam "Razor Burn" P.	Alex A.	Allyson R.
Benjamin B.	Conor K.	Dan M.
Danielle M.	Devin B.	Eric A.
Evin G.	Gabe S.	Jackie K.
Jared J.	Jen G.	Julia S.
Kira W.	Matt K.	Matthew B.
Michael V.	Mike S.	Pedro de la T.
Peter D.	Sean C.	Steve S.
Susannah P.	William B.

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Thank You, Après Peau!

Official Moustache-a-thon 209 sponsor Après Peau has generously donated some cool crafty stationary as a prize for one of our Moustache-a-thon growers.

Après Peau, Washington’s contemporary lifestyle gift boutique, celebrates the best of the city and creates gifts that capture the dynamism of our capitol. Located along Washington’s bustling K Street, Après Peau features an ever-evolving sampling of smart, must-have gifts that are a new spin on the traditional. Each product line is hand-selected for its smart, unique, practical or entertaining commentary on living and giving in Washington, D.C. Visit us online at www.aprespeau.com.

Thank you, Après Peau!

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Smooth Like a Baby's Bottom

Many venerable beards bit the dust Saturday as the Capitol Letters Moustache-a-thon 2009 kicked off. The professionals at DMC Beauty Salon in Columbia Heights clipped and razored us back to pre-pubescent smoothness, leaving many of us sheepishly rubbing our cheeks and wondering if such drastic measures were necessary. The answer: YES.


Ben B. is ready to go.


The word that comes to mind here is dignity.


The hot towel face-wrap makes it all worthwhile.


Fresh-faced young go-getters. Wouldn't you like to donate on their behalf?

More photos!

Come see the results of the first moustache progress check-in, 7 p.m. Tuesday at Asylum (2471 18th St NW)!

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